☏ HOLY MOTHER OF EDISON (dorkage) wrote in lockpicking,
☏ HOLY MOTHER OF EDISON
dorkage
lockpicking

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I laughed while writing this poem (Holy crap for crap, original works? I don't believe it either!). I don't know if y'all will. xD

Title: Savior
Author: dorkage
Summary: Changed around the ending to a dream I had, although everybody mentioned in this poem was present. If for some really weird reason you want to read about the original dream, you can read a retelling of it via AIM here.

Don't say I didn't warn you, though. xDDDD

-------

I was clad in raven-colored leather,
Tight around my figure so that
It creaked like an old door whenever I moved.
A woman in similar garb stood before me,
Fire alight in her face as she held the gun to me.

Fear was thick in my throat,
Like a woman screaming as she hid in the bedroom
And the storm roared above her.

But I told the leather-clad woman that she would not harm me,
And she smiled like the cat eager to share its riddle,
Amusement and sadism swept across its lips.

An old television chef was my savior.
His speech nonsensical,
The pan a weapon as he swung it around
Fresh, scalding grease soaring in droplets everywhere.

My foe’s screams pierced the room
And she left abruptly.
I turned to the man who had risked his life for mine
And uttered a grateful thanks.

He turned to me and waved the pan above his head,
His plastic eyes staring into mine:
“Bork bork bork bork.”
Tags: diane writes something original!, poetry
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  • 7 comments
OH MEIN GOTT! IT'S BEAUTIFUL AND CONFUSING AND VIVID AND AMUSING AND TERRIFYING! I love it. XD
xDDD! <3333 Thank you!
I loved the last verse; it made me grin. =D

Except the plastic eyes thing makes me think of the Other Parents from Coraline. D:
Thank you!

alsdkfja, that's creepy. DDD: I guess the Swedish Chef has creepy eyes too, though xD
You're crazy.

Also does this Swedish chef happen to be the one from Ctrl+Alt+Del, it reminded me of him for some reason.
I know it.

The Swedish Chef is from the Muppet Show. I never really read Ctrl+Alt+Del, so it's possible the chef there is a reference to him.
Haha...it's 4:45 and this poem is fucking gold. I've sent it to like 12 people that watched the Muppet show and ALL of them were in hysterics with laughter. Remember Hugh? Tough guy to impress, especially involving muppets, but he was in tears he was laughing so hard. Thank you for sharing this, Fanny...I positively adore it. And want to make the last stanza(?) my away message. But I didn't 'cause I haven't gotten your permission yet. Anyway. This is pure gold. I love it.